Video: How To Massage Your Possum

In my wanderings around the interwebs I sometimes come upon weirdness that I just have to share. Such is the case with this woman, using the pseudonym of Georgina Spelvin who seems to have some sort of possum fetish.

Some folks call her the possum lady, others resort to terms like “whackjob” and “nutcase.” Frankly, I think she’s just putting on an act. But there’s no denying that she has quite a menagerie of possums. A big old one she called “Potato” and a pair of twins she refers to as the “Apples’ and even a couple of babies.

Part of her schtick is acting as a psychic medium, channeling the cosmic wisdom of a dead squirrel named Pearl, she even has a website dedicated to the decayed rodent…

I AM A DEAD SQUIRREL WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING and pines to share it with YOU. I lived for 10 years and gnawed my way through most of a Merriam-Webster’s English dictionary. Plus, I absorbed vast amounts of information through my 7 senses, tuned beyond anything you can yet imagine. And the rest I make up.

In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral, I am the very model of a modern psychic squirrel. Croaking only increased my power and lovability factor. You can ASK PEARL anything. Confide in ME, Gentle Reader; unburden your soul. Pearl wants to hear from you, NOW.

Here’s her video on how to massage a possum. It’s 8 minutes which might be long enough to cause brain damage, so more sensitive viewers can get a safe dose of lunacy by watching a 3 minute “best of” compilation from her other videos.

And yes, she does bear a freakish resemblance to Nancy Pelosi.

6 comments

  1. Betty Butter

    Actually, Possums are one of my favorite animals. We had a Possum that would circle our pool every night on his rounds. He and our cat had an understanding. They left each other alone. And they prey on rats, and help keep the rat population down, but everybody knows that, right?

    • Dink Newcomb

      Back in my youth, after returning from the SE Asia School of Hard Knocks, (Nov ’70), I adopted a lifestyle with a flesh eating spin on hippie silliness and decided I would eat as much “naturally” harvested game as possible– I couldn’t eliminate rice and dried beans, now could I? I fished and hunted constantly and learned that many normally eschewed species were excellent table fodder– stingrays, toad fish and blackbirds/crows, for example. I relished squirrel and coon. With the supplement of other species I avoided frequent trips to the grocery store with 25# sacks of beans and rice.
      BUT! Besides bugs, there were three types of mammals I could never quite learn to eat– cats, rats and possums. YES, I admit, I am a bigoted possumist!

  2. Alan

    So I guess it depends on whether you prefer to have small rats or very large rats (opposums) around your house. According to the National Opossum Society they eat roof rats. I don’t think we have any of those around here. In 67 years I have never seen a rat on my roof.
    http://www.opossum.org/

  3. Sembawangbolo

    I think the only bright spot this lady had was when she opened up that she gets correspondence wondering if she’s a wackjob.
    She’s gotta be related to Nansky Peloski. Two peas in a pod.

    Betty, no, I didn’t know possums eat rats. I thought they only eat asphalt and car tire treads.

    • Dink Newcomb

      However whacked out this lady is, she is not as culturally TUNED OUT as the woman whose blog post I read the other day who advocated eating your own boogers for the proven medical value.
      Of course, I had to ask her how long it had been since she had been kissed by a NON booger eatin’ moh-ron (as we in the south refer to them).
      There are certainly too many incomprehensible things I have encountered on the internet to list so let me just quote Hamlet:
      “There are more things under heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy Horatio.”

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