The title of ‘New Jersey’s Biggest Threat To Your Junk‘ may finally be wrested from nine time consecutive title holders, Snooki and The Situation (who knew?) who starred in that horrible reality show that captivated Obama supporters nationwide.
By who you ask? This guy:
(Daily Mail) – A father and son fishing at a New Jersey lake may be lucky their bodies still have all their pieces after catching a fish called ‘the Nutcracker’ that is more commonly seen in the Amazon.
Ron Rossi, from the Philadelphia suburb of Delran, was out with his son Frank at a man-made body of water when they hooked what they thought was a piranha.
However, the rare species in Swedes Lake was actually a pacu, an omnivorous fish native to Brazil that has human-like teeth and has been reported to eat the testicles of swimmers and fishermen. -more
They’ve been found in other states as well.
Snooki and The Situation have been spotted discussing ways to retain their titles as ‘New Jersey’s Biggest Threat To Your Junk‘ but it seems the fish may outsmart them both.
In related news I just made up, the pacu will be granted amnesty for illegally entering the country and afforded all rights of a natural born citizen. After all, it was Climate Change that forced it here.