Piers Morgan Threatens To Self Deport Over Gun Control

Piers Morgan fatheadPiers Morgan, America’s Lord Haw-Haw is threatening to leave the country unless us Yanks do something about all those nasty brutish guns in the hands of colonialist clingers.

Oh, and while we’re at it, he has some suggestions for a re-write of the Bible.

Hey Piers (if that’s really your name) I got a bit of advice for you and your lot: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I have fired guns only once in my life, on a stag party to the Czech capital Prague a few years ago when part of the itinerary included a trip to an indoor shooting range. For three hours, our group were let loose on everything from Magnum 45 handguns and Glock pistols, to high-powered  ‘sniper’ rifles and pump-action shotguns.

It was controlled, legal, safe and undeniably exciting. But it also showed me, quite demonstrably, that guns are killing machines.

Read more of his simpering silliness at the Daily Mail, UK:

So guns are killing machines are they? Well, that should come as a shock to virtually no one. I’m pretty certain they weren’t invented 600 years ago as a more efficient means to till the earth.

And there’s the rub you see, they’re ancient technology. Like fire and sundry pointy things they’ve become ubiquitous worldwide. And like anything that has literally become ingrained in our very DNA over the vast stretch of time, they’re use and manufacture can not be now forgotten.

What I’m trying to say is this: There will never come a day when mankind will cease to produce and use firearms or any weapon for that matter. There is no law, no matter how draconian that will keep humans from cobbling together a gun if they choose to have one.

And now, if you would, without further delay, take your privileged elitist ass and your armed bodyguards and begone from from our hallowed land. Don’t worry, we’ll manage somehow without your kind. God knows, we have plenty of homegrown dolts as it is.


  1. G8RFN

    Piers would you please leave and take that simpering JackA$$ Sean Penn with you when you go. What a pair they would make.

  2. Betty Butter

    Maybe we can get Piers to give us his opinion on yet one more Mexican stabbing another Mexican news story, like the ones that appear in my local paper over and over again.

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