• Is Hugo Chavez Dead?

    by  • 6 January, 2013 • Celeb, Politics • 7 Comments

    Hugo Chavez deadI ran across this pic late last night. Nothing was offered in details other than that the picture was taken in Cuba where Hugo Chavez has been hospitalized in grave condition with lung related complications from his last cancer surgery.

    Chavez hasn’t been heard from in weeks sparking speculation and rumor.

    If he is dead there may be reasons why his death is being kept secret. He just won re-election and is supposed to attend the swearing in ceremony. However, if he fails to appear, according to the Venezuelan constitution, new elections would have to be scheduled within 30 days.

    His VP and chosen successor Nicolas Maduro would like to avoid an election and simply assume power. He’s been vocal in denouncing any talk that Hugo Chavez is incapable of fulfilling his duties or that Chavez even has to make an appearance to be sworn in (hmmm?).

    It’s very likely that if Chavez is dead and Maduro tries to make a power grab a civil war will erupt to rival what we’re seeing in Syria.

    As for the picture, some have questioned it claiming that when last seen alive, Hugo Chavez was bald, the result of his cancer treatments. Of course, any decent mortician could put a toupee on the corpse. From my personal perspective, most folks who die after a long battle with cancer wouldn’t look this good. Even the most skilled mortician would find it a challenge to make the deceased look half as good as they did in life.

    One last clue is that Oliver Stone and Sean Penn haven’t suddenly replaced their red armbands with black ones. When they cancel all their appointments, pack their dark suits and buy airline tickets to Venezuela we’ll know he’s dead, probably even before the CIA does.

    7 Responses to Is Hugo Chavez Dead?

    1. G8RFN
      6 January, 2013 at 14:59

      One can only hope…When this is said and done S. Penn could probably get elected dictator for life…

    2. 6 January, 2013 at 20:38

      Haven’t seen him on this side yet. I know there are big preparations underway for his anticipated arrival. Karl Marx is beside himself! So much so, he even hugged Leo Tolstoy a little while ago …

      • Betty Butter
        6 January, 2013 at 22:42

        Hmm. This gives me an idea. Why not shoot the corpse of Chavez up with Tequila. Doesn’t alcohol make one look puffy? Buffoon, you are correct. No dead communist looks that good. They must have worked for days to puff Lenin up with mortician fluids.

        • Whoopie
          6 January, 2013 at 22:55

          Sorry Betty, you can’t pressurize a body with embalming fluid, it would just leak out the nose and mouth. You can stuff cotton in the cheeks and under the eyelids to restore the shape to some degree.

          I’m thinking that’s a photoshop. The lips are too full and there is no skin sagging around the edges of the head. The rule of thumb is the sicker the person was at death, the harder it is to make them look like they did in life.

          • 7 January, 2013 at 05:29

            I think so too. He’s not going to be on your side of life much longer (I can hear the bands practicing for his welcome parade) but that photo is crap. I was referred to Wazenmentobe by one of my blog-followers and since that link is as dead as I am, I’m glad to find you here. Different name, same snark and attitude!

        • 7 January, 2013 at 05:25

          Why waste perfectly good Tequila that way? In any country with a strong Irish influence, it would be illegal! (BTW, nice animated gif over on the headline roundup post … like the new PJ’s).

    3. Ann R. Key
      10 January, 2013 at 02:15

      What a lousy photoshop. Why would they have him in a coffin? If he’s dead, he’s still on a respirator, his blood still circulating, his heart still beating, even if his brain is gone. This is a fake picture. Need to find a way to bribe one of his caretakers and get a nice shot for real–you will see him on major life support, not in a coffin with a double chin that is defying gravity.

    Thoughts?

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <img src="URL of image"/> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

    Yep, we have Twitter and Pinterest too...