Brainfart: The V-Tex “Instant” Beverage Chiller

When Socialism tries to manufacture a market for a pointless product that solves a non-existent problem.

Let’s dissect the V-Tex energy saving claim, that there’s a need for such a thing in homes and convenience stores where traditional refrigerators that operate continuously waste energy.

Ok, I’m always going to need a traditional frig to store perishable foods like meats. As long as I have a cold box, I may as well store my beverages in there too. That’s true for homes as well as businesses that sell food.

As for convenience stores, there is nothing convenient about buying a can of warm soda then having to stand in line to put it in the machine and wait a minute for it to reach your desired temperature.

The fact that the V-Tex can “buffer” up to six cans is irrelevant because of the wide selection of beverages available. Must we have a V-Tex for each brand and flavor of canned beverage on the shelf? And what if I want more than six pre-chilled cans to go?

Finally, the V-Tex device operates by swirling your canned beverage around in a bath of chilled water. So what chills the water? It seems to me that you’ll still be running a refrigeration unit constantly to keep the water bath super cold.

My last argument is economic: Even if it does save energy, at what cost? How much does this gizmo cost compared to a standard refrigerator that everyone is going to have regardless? I see a lot of moving parts and surely the water bath must be flushed and cleaned periodically lest it get rank and moldy. What does it cost to maintain?

Needless to say, none of these points are addressed in the slick marketing video. I guess you’re just supposed to focus on the slinky gal in the tight dress and high heels as she sashays up to the machine to chill her can of Heineken.

I see the hidden business model in the opening credits of the video: Supported by the EU Commission, Seventh Framework Programme, Grant Agreement Number 262101.

Just another Green Energy scam funded with taxpayer money.

Enjoy the video…

2 comments

  1. No chance

    Instantly dismissed article by first sentence: “When Socialism tries to manufacture a market for a pointless product that solves a non-existent problem”.

    1. Wtf has socialism got to do with cold beer?

    2. This is an existent problem, a very existent problem.

    3. I agree with the premise of energy waste and product specific coolers, it is stupid. However product design evolves, with enough R&D can eventually become viable, the electric car a case in point.

    Someone share the love and give this remuglican some grey matter for christmas.

    • Whoopie

      |Author

      It’s a taxpayer funded green energy boondoggle that serves no practical purpose for the reasons outlined. It saves no energy because everyone already has and always will have classical refrigerators. The money would be better spent on improved insulation for existing refrigerators. But screw it, you guys are so smart you’ve transcended logic itself. In Utopia, warm ice cream never melts.

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